5 signs to recognize a highly toxic relationship

5 signs to recognize a highly toxic relationship
Image source: Google

It will be love at first sight and you will start worshipping them from the very first day. So before you get any more involved, it’s time for a rain check.

We all agree relationships aren’t perfect, they are not supposed to be. A relationship is established by two individuals who agree to spend time together, understand each other, and share interests- even if that means you both have very different interests. However, the most significant aspect of a relationship is the way we treat our partners and in the way we are treated by them. We all like to be the special someone every now and then. After all who doesn’t enjoy a Saturday night of good company, some wine, and some more utterly satisfying moments which lead to an even fulfilling Sunday morning. While spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship with your partner, it is important to realize when that quality time is becoming a burden.

Firstly, let’s take some time to admit our generation does not perceive relationships like our previous generations. We are a bunch of millennials who spend at least eight to nine hours a day behind a screen, and most of our contacts are done through social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat and so on. We are constantly surrounded by things which serve as easy escape pads from the monotony of a daily life. Sounds sad but that is our reality. Hence, we are clearly not a generation that needs someone to complete us, we need someone who complement us. However, when someone contributes something extra they naturally expect that extra in return and that can often lead to some serious toxicity in a relationship.

 

A healthy relationship isn’t supposed to hurt in the wrong way. (Google Images)

So before you fall head over heels for your partner, here are the top five things you need to know to recognize a toxic relationship:

  1. Emotional Abuse - Perhaps one of the most common traits of a toxic relationship is being with someone who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself. Anything you do is never enough for this partner. Unlike healthier relationships where partners talk to each other about their emotional problems, a toxic relationship is all about one partner emotionally harassing the other. It can happen in many forms such as verbal abuse, bullying, shamming, humiliation, and above all the use of this very common phrase, “you don’t love me enough”. This is also the part where the partner does not reciprocate as much as you do, and it is all simply an ‘all take and no give’ policy.
  2. Gaslighting - The term basically means to undermine another person’s argument by denying facts. Continuing with the use of emotional abuse to dominate one’s partner, gas lighting happens when one partner straightaway denies all claims during an argument. Even if you encounter your partner chances are he/ she will use your own complain against you making you feel like the ultimate guilty. If you charge them with arriving late, they might easily tell you have arrived too early. Or if you catch them cheating they might just state it was your lack of love which compelled them to cheat. These can be dangerous as you are almost in doubt about yourself now.
  3. Cheating - This is perhaps the clearest and the easiest way to recognize a toxic relationship. If your partner is really into you he or she will not go around looking for pleasure elsewhere. Unless you are in a polyamorous relationship, a third wheel is a total no go in a relationship. As much as it is considered a sin by law itself, when a partner cheats on you don’t spend a minute considering forgiveness. Moreover, chances are- as mentioned above- the partner will try to gaslight you by saying things like, “You won’t love me, you won’t let me”. In such cases, don’t bother explaining yourself because you know you have done enough.

There is no point being with someone who you don’t like. (Google Images)

  1. Distrust - In case you continue remaining in the same relationship where your partner has already cheated on you, chances are the last ounce of trust no longer exists. Also, without trust there can never be a healthy relationship. If both of you are unable to let each other be without supervision, you can never leave out any space to breath. Without trust, chances are you don’t even like each other much. So why be with someone who you don’t trust and don’t like?
  2. Forgetting about Hobbies and Friends - If someone really loves you, they will accept with everything that you are, and that includes all your weird hobbies and the bunch of picky friends. No matter how fussy your friends are about the person you date, they will always go along with the person who truly makes an effort to know them. That person will also support you with all the hobbies like painting with toothpaste (if you’re into such things). However, in a toxic relationship all of that goes down the drain, the person will never accept your flaws forget about your friends and hobbies. Chances are they will compel you to stop hanging out with your friends and soon you will be a boring person with no hobbies at all.

So did all the points above remind you of your sweetheart? Good. Then it’s time for you to leave and move on!